Missing my baby

  For those that are friends on Facebook, you know already that my oldest daughter decided to live with her dad this year....or maybe you suspected but didn't want to ask me, or you just thought I have lost my mind when I keep talking about missing M one minute and then post about how great she is doing in cross country or apple picking the next.  And while my mental status remains up for debate, I can assure you I'm not crazy when I write about missing her all week long.
  The decision came over the summer. I knew she had been missing her friends there, she wanted the opportunity to be "an only child" for a while and wanted to take the chance to have a little special time living with her dad. And to be honest, I didn't have a strong arguement for not letting her go other than I would rather put a hot poker through my eye than not see my child every day. Don't get me wrong..this is and will remain my more challenging child. She's the one who tests my patience, has earned me a special place in mommy heaven, keeps my hairdresser (Hi Jeffrey!) in business covering my greys and hiding my bald spots where I've torn my own hair out and ensures I will never live in one of those "always clean" homes. However,  she's still my baby. I grew her...from scratch and I want to intrude on every detail of her life and it's not easy from 30 miles away.
  So....the last few months have been a challenge. It was hard to pack her up and move her. It sucks to have it hit me in the middle of the day that I have NO idea what she's doing right now and it's heartbreaking to say no when she calls crying saying she wants to come home because she's mad at her dad or having a bad day.
  But no matter what....she is still my baby and I'll keep missing her every day until she's home.